Bad Sex by Clancy Martin
NY Tyrant, 2015
180 pages – NY Tyrant / Amazon
Contrary to what its title might suggest, Bad Sex is heartwarming. It’s intimate. It’s a sincere look at how to love someone you can never trust, and it’s backlit by the glamor of penthouses and drug dealers in Mexico City. The novel starts with the cunning and unsettled protagonist, Brett, teetering on the edge of infidelity and relapse. The question isn’t if she’ll falter, but how gracefully and with what velocity.
Martin, a philosopher by trade, uses his misanthropic characters to highlight real ethical situations that lovers find themselves in today. It’s funny and unsettling, if only because it’s true. “Why’d you have to fuck him” Brett’s friend asks, “Now you’re in love. We could have just had a threesome.” The logic checks out (as far as infidelity goes, a threesome is considerably more docile an offense than true, romantic love). This astute, unapologetic version of the truth is a version that only an author such as Martin has access to.
After reading him for a while, after listening to and being privy to Brett’s thought process before each bad decision she makes, it’s hard not to sympathize. Eventually, Bad Sex becomes the kind of story that punctures the deepest recess of your psyche, only to realize, dear God, there are others out there like me. And this notion, like the novel, is equal parts terrifying and comforting.
“I’m a terrible wife. I’m not a good person,” Brett divulges to her lover, “I’m as bad as everyone says.” Eduardo doesn’t indulge her though, he counters instead, “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re no better and no worse than anyone else.” Martin knows that there’s a certain indulgence, even luxury when it comes to self-destruction. It’s a privilege, and a selfish one at that.
This conversation between Brett and her lover early on sets the tone. Brett is at once terribly alone, yet utterly surrounded by a field of confidants, both in people and in drink. She has a husband, a lover, a best friend, and if all that fails, a personality that she can take to any bar and make herself into the center of attention for the night.
The author, Clancy Martin, is an alcoholic himself. He knows this life-altering strait that the addict finds himself in too often. Maybe I am meant for this? Maybe I’m no better sober than when drunk in a bar? An alcoholic is an alcoholic for a reason, and to deny that there’s a giant culture of alcohol and intoxication out there in the world is disingenuous. The alcoholic does well in this culture. She’s a star. The life of the party.
One of the biggest questions is, what will it take to make Brett happy in this life? If it’s her husband, then she should quit with the infidelity. If it’s alcohol, then drink. If it’s sobriety, then don’t. If it’s Eduardo, then for God’s sake Brett, tell him how you feel. But of course, it isn’t that easy, neither for Brett nor for us, the readers, in our everyday lives. We all have these different personalities, different selves, that are constantly vying for the the center of our attention. Which self will I be today? The stoic or the tramp?
As Brett says, “No alcoholic, no matter how practiced, whether she’s had twenty relapses or never had one in twenty years, can explain why she doesn’t take a drink.” There are forces out there that are beyond our control. Sure, we can invent ideologies to explain our behavior, but as Martin must know, our behavior will always be a mystery, especially to ourselves.
Despite the constant tension and fighting, Brett shows herself to be a deeply likable character. There are moments of intense connection between her and Eduardo, her and her husband. This isn’t Breaking Bad. This isn’t her downfall, no, Brett is complex and beautiful, an intensely likable character. Even when she’s lying to her husband on the phone, naked in Eduardo’s arms, you don’t condemn her actions, you sympathize with them.
Perhaps this is what Martin is begging from us in Bad Sex? That we think a little more about why we lie so much, especially to the ones we love the most. That we learn to love those people a bit better. That we forgive ourselves when we falter most.
