- Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy the postponement of pain.
- Overreact with your feet, not your money.
- Walk like you’re always running fifteen minutes late. (Which, of course, is terrible advice if you’re running thirty minutes late.)
- The difference between not enough and too much isa half-truth, a sidelong glance, an everything bagel.
- Never bite off more than you can chew unless you can swallow it whole.
- Laughter may be the best medicine, but alcohol makes the medicine go down.
- When in doubt, have another round.
- When in doubt, scream.
- Louder.
- It’s not where you’re from or where you’re going that matters; it’s the digital trail you leave behind.
- Shame is guilt that stayed the night.
- Always be yourself.
- No! Not like that.
- There, that’s better.
- If you think you’re falling in love, drink a glass of water. You’re probably just dehydrated.
- Wait to profess your love until after Valentine’s Day. The candy will be half-off.
- Love is loss deferred.
- The sixth stage of grief is unlimited breadsticks.
- There is no subtle way to empty an entire basket of breadsticks into your purse.
- Try turning it off and never back on again.
Robyn Schindeldecker is a Minneapolis-born, Internet-bred writer who is pursuing her MFA at Hamline University. When she’s not making a mess in the wordsmith’s forge, she can be found making a mess eating pancakes.
