Enter your email Address

ENTROPY
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      The Animal Form

      January 22, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      On Fantasy and Artifice

      January 19, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Tales From the End of the Bus Line: Aging Ungraciously

      January 18, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Salt and Sleep

      January 15, 2021

      Introspection

      The Birds: A Special Providence in the Fall of a Sparrow

      January 2, 2020

      Introspection

      Returning Home with Ross McElwee

      December 13, 2019

      Introspection

      The Birds: In Our Piety

      November 14, 2019

      Introspection

      Variations: Landslide

      June 12, 2019

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      The Birds: Little Birds

      December 11, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Perdix and a Pear Tree

      December 9, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Glimmer of Blue

      November 23, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Circling for Home

      November 13, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: The Guest

      November 9, 2020

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: Dear Marshall, Language is Our Only Wilderness by Heather Sweeney

      January 21, 2021

      Review

      Review: Shrapnel Maps by Philip Metres

      January 18, 2021

      Review

      Perceived Realities: A Review of M-Theory by Tiffany Cates

      January 14, 2021

      Review

      Review: Danger Days by Catherine Pierce

      January 11, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

      Small Press

      death of workers whilst building skyscrapers

      November 10, 2020

      Small Press

      Slate Roof Press

      September 15, 2020

      Small Press

      Ellipsis Press

      September 1, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Games

        Hunt A Killer, Earthbreak, and Empty Faces: Escapism for the Post-Truth Era

        September 21, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

        Video Games

        Best of 2018: Video Games

        December 17, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch

ENTROPY

  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      The Animal Form

      January 22, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      On Fantasy and Artifice

      January 19, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Tales From the End of the Bus Line: Aging Ungraciously

      January 18, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Salt and Sleep

      January 15, 2021

      Introspection

      The Birds: A Special Providence in the Fall of a Sparrow

      January 2, 2020

      Introspection

      Returning Home with Ross McElwee

      December 13, 2019

      Introspection

      The Birds: In Our Piety

      November 14, 2019

      Introspection

      Variations: Landslide

      June 12, 2019

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      The Birds: Little Birds

      December 11, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Perdix and a Pear Tree

      December 9, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Glimmer of Blue

      November 23, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Circling for Home

      November 13, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: The Guest

      November 9, 2020

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: Dear Marshall, Language is Our Only Wilderness by Heather Sweeney

      January 21, 2021

      Review

      Review: Shrapnel Maps by Philip Metres

      January 18, 2021

      Review

      Perceived Realities: A Review of M-Theory by Tiffany Cates

      January 14, 2021

      Review

      Review: Danger Days by Catherine Pierce

      January 11, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

      Small Press

      death of workers whilst building skyscrapers

      November 10, 2020

      Small Press

      Slate Roof Press

      September 15, 2020

      Small Press

      Ellipsis Press

      September 1, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Games

        Hunt A Killer, Earthbreak, and Empty Faces: Escapism for the Post-Truth Era

        September 21, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

        Video Games

        Best of 2018: Video Games

        December 17, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch
Creative Nonfiction / Essay

The Birds: The Great Black Hawk

written by Guest Contributor April 9, 2020

People were curious and wanted to see something rare—a great black hawk from Mexico with legs so long that it hunted squirrels by running them down. Bird lovers drove in from around the northeast to the Deering Oaks city park in Portland, Maine hoping to catch a flash of black darting through the woods. They walked quietly on paths that curved over the manicured grounds and went by the tennis courts. They stood motionless behind trees like paparazzi, hoping to take a photo of the new celebrity.

I wouldn’t have gone. I don’t like zoos because they restrict the natural movements of its creatures, and their eyes lose their fire. The park was only a larger cage. Yet I understand the desire to experience the wilderness, but even in our national parks, we reduce the outdoors to a source of entertainment, not illumination.

Native to Central and South America, these hawks seldom leave their tropical home. In the spring of 2018, though, this juvenile male was spotted on South Padre Island in Texas. By August, he had made his way 2000 miles north to Bidford, Maine, then disappeared, until he re-appeared in Portland at the end of November.

No one knew why it strayed so far north, or why it stayed after the first snow. Was his internal GPS faulty, or was he on a teenage fling like the Amish Rumspringa before settling down. Perhaps his quest was closer to that of Chris McCandless who traveled to Alaska wanting to escape the restrictions at home, experience the pristine beauty of the wilderness, and live off the land like his ancestors. But he neglected to prepare himself to survive there, and was found dead inside an abandoned bus.

I understand the desire to live free of schedules and the expectations of others. When I go camping, I wait until morning to see what I feel like doing that day. Sometimes I’ll sit by a river and listen to the sweet singing of my ouzel, an American dipper, and watch it hop up and down in the rapids before swimming under the water looking for bugs. Or I’ll stay up late to watch the night sky, mesmerized by the constellations of stars moving through the depths of the cosmos, then sleep in the next morning rather than hike. Or I’ll wander around the Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias, a cathedral arbor of 300-foot-tall, 3000-year-old trees, and let its stillness and grandeur calm my restlessness.

After my wife’s unexpected death in her 40s, I went to Yosemite needing its wilderness to shake off the lethargy that, a year later, wouldn’t let me go. I also needed to believe that I was part of something greater than grief. Setting aside my fear of mountain lions and bears, I hiked the backcountry trails by myself, taking more risks than I should, aware that I could die if I made a simple mistake like slipping on gravel at the edge of a cliff. The rawness of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, the cascading rivers, and hundreds of square miles of pine forests restored my sense of wonder.

Having seen the hawk, people left, thinking they had experienced wildness by watching. They did not worry how a tropical hawk would survive a Maine winter. Audubon’s people weren’t concerned, either, until someone noticed that the hawk’s legs had frozen and the bird was comatose. His legs had to be amputated and the hawk euthanized a week later.

Many of us no longer understand nature’s language. We feel uneasy being outdoors alone at night, even in our own backyards. We no longer believe that we are dependent on nature’s health, or worry that its demise will lead to our own. We tell ourselves that we are caring people who can read between the lines, identify future problems, and make the needed changes. Yet, we did not think the hawk needed help because it chose to be here and was free to leave if conditions became too harsh.

We did not consult our hearts. We did not err on the side of compassion. We did not listen to our wise elders imploring us to look out for the welfare of the animals and birds. We have broken our sacred trust with the land. In our drive to be individuals who can stand on our own, we have lost our sense of being members of a community that takes care of each other.

We aren’t blind. We know the climate is changing in our part of the state and around the world. Wildfires in the west are more frequent and more destructive. The polar ice is melting and the oceans are rising over the roads of our coastal cities. Farming is being marginalized as rain comes in unpredictable patterns, too much or not at all. A 7000-square-mile dead zone has formed in the Gulf of Mexico where fish can’t survive because pesticide runoff has depleted the oxygen to levels that won’t sustain life. A massive plastic garbage patch floats in the Pacific Ocean that is twice the size of Texas. Fracking and industrial pollution have left many people without safe drinking water.

The hawk may not have been an omen, a messenger, or a harbinger of nature’s collapse, yet I think about why workers took canaries into the coal mines. How many signs do we need before we act? How close are we to the tipping point where nature will tip forward into darkness and be unable to tip back?

One afternoon after Ev’s death, I saw a coyote howling for its mate in Tuolumne Meadows, then listening for a reply that never came. I know his feeling. Was the hawk lonely at night without his community? Did he panic not knowing how to get home? Did he resign himself to death when his legs froze, hoping for one last morning when he could feel the warmth of the sun?

With less snow in winter, most of Yosemite’s waterfalls stop flowing by August. Two dozen giant sequoias have already died because warmer temperatures in the high country are allowing insect infestations, and scientists don’t know if any of the ancient trees will be able to survive.

What would I have done if I hadn’t had the wilderness of Yosemite to nurture me back to health after Ev’s death? Where will I go if the rivers run dry, the sequoias are dead, and my ouzel no longer cares to sing?

 


Mark Liebenow writes about nature, grief, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, his essays, poems, and reviews have been published in over 40 journals. He has won the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, and the Chautauqua and Literal Latte’s essay prizes. His work has been nominated for three Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American Essays. His account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with his wife’s death, Mountains of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. http://www.markliebenow.com

The Birds: The Great Black Hawk was last modified: April 7th, 2020 by Guest Contributor
deathEnvironmenthawkMainenaturereverenceseparationThe Birdswilderness
0 comment
4
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Avatar
Guest Contributor

Entropy posts are often submitted to us by our fantastic readers & guest contributors. We'd love to receive a contribution from you too. Submission Guidelines.

previous post
Literacy Narrative: Estradiolian Aria
next post
Beyond Mere Transcendence: Gillian Conoley’s A Little More/ Red Sun on/ the Human

You may also like

She Got Love

December 1, 2018

Best of 2019: Nonfiction Books

December 12, 2019

A Way Back Home

December 17, 2020

WOVEN: My Statutory Rapist and Me

November 13, 2019
Facebook Twitter Instagram

Recent Comments

  • Lei Yu wow so beautifully written!

    Review – : once teeth bones coral : by Kimberly Alidio ·  January 18, 2021

  • Lisa S Thank you so much for your kind words and your feedback. I can only hope my story is able to help someone who needs it.

    WOVEN: This isn’t love ·  January 8, 2021

  • Ann Guy Thank you, Josh. And glad you didn’t get tetanus at band camp on that misguided day.

    A Way Back Home ·  December 24, 2020

Featured Columns & Series

  • The Birds
  • Dinnerview
  • WOVEN
  • Variations on a Theme
  • BLACKCACKLE
  • Literacy Narrative
  • COVID-19
  • Mini-Syllabus
  • Their Days Are Numbered
  • On Weather
  • Disarticulations
  • The Waters
  • Session Report series
  • Birdwolf
  • Comics I've Been Geeking Out On
  • Small Press Releases
  • Books I Hate (and Also Some I Like)
  • The Poetics of Spaces
  • Fog or a Cloud
  • Tales From the End of the Bus Line
  • 30 Years of Ghibli
  • Cooking Origin Stories
  • YOU MAKE ME FEEL
  • Ludic Writing
  • Best of 2019
  • The Talking Cure
  • Stars to Stories
  • DRAGONS ARE REAL OR THEY ARE DEAD
  • Foster Care
  • Food and Covid-19
  • LEAKY CULTURE
  • Jem and the Holographic Feminisms
  • D&D with Entropy

Find Us On Facebook

Entropy
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

©2014-2020 The Accomplices LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Read our updated Privacy Policy.


Back To Top