Enter your email Address

ENTROPY
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Side Effects May Include Monstrosity

      February 25, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      WOVEN: Bruises Around the Heart

      February 24, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Radio Days

      February 23, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      The Birds: The Old and the Flightless

      February 22, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Radio Days

      February 23, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Daddy Rocked the Baby, Mother Said Amen

      February 20, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: The End of the World

      February 9, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: I almost lost my calloused skin

      February 2, 2021

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      BLACKCACKLE: Cain, Knocking

      February 24, 2021

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Bird Heart for Forgiveness

      February 19, 2021

      Fiction

      New Skin

      February 17, 2021

      Fiction

      The Birds: Skittering

      February 17, 2021

      Fiction

      Variations on a Theme: Larger Than Life

      February 6, 2021

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: To Limn / Lying In by J’Lyn Chapman

      February 25, 2021

      Review

      Review: Nudes by Elle Nash

      February 22, 2021

      Review

      Burials Free of Sharks: Review of Xandria Phillips’ Hull

      February 18, 2021

      Review

      Review: Censorettes by Elizabeth Bales Frank

      February 4, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      OOMPH! Press

      February 24, 2021

      Small Press

      Dynamo Verlag

      February 17, 2021

      Small Press

      Abalone Mountain Press

      February 3, 2021

      Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        HOW VIDEO GAMES MADE ME BIOPHILIC

        February 12, 2021

        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        HOW VIDEO GAMES MADE ME BIOPHILIC

        February 12, 2021

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch

ENTROPY

  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Side Effects May Include Monstrosity

      February 25, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      WOVEN: Bruises Around the Heart

      February 24, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Radio Days

      February 23, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      The Birds: The Old and the Flightless

      February 22, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Radio Days

      February 23, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: Daddy Rocked the Baby, Mother Said Amen

      February 20, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: The End of the World

      February 9, 2021

      Introspection

      Variations on a Theme: I almost lost my calloused skin

      February 2, 2021

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      BLACKCACKLE: Cain, Knocking

      February 24, 2021

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Bird Heart for Forgiveness

      February 19, 2021

      Fiction

      New Skin

      February 17, 2021

      Fiction

      The Birds: Skittering

      February 17, 2021

      Fiction

      Variations on a Theme: Larger Than Life

      February 6, 2021

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: To Limn / Lying In by J’Lyn Chapman

      February 25, 2021

      Review

      Review: Nudes by Elle Nash

      February 22, 2021

      Review

      Burials Free of Sharks: Review of Xandria Phillips’ Hull

      February 18, 2021

      Review

      Review: Censorettes by Elizabeth Bales Frank

      February 4, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      OOMPH! Press

      February 24, 2021

      Small Press

      Dynamo Verlag

      February 17, 2021

      Small Press

      Abalone Mountain Press

      February 3, 2021

      Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        HOW VIDEO GAMES MADE ME BIOPHILIC

        February 12, 2021

        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        HOW VIDEO GAMES MADE ME BIOPHILIC

        February 12, 2021

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch
Creative Nonfiction / Essay

The Birds: DOVES

written by Toti O’Brien March 14, 2016

I’ve never seen a bird mourn.

How would I know, you ask: isn’t it something private, intimate… How could I know how a bird feels?

I don’t know how a bird feels… I meant I never saw a bird show detectable signs of grief, even slight attitudes or behaviors, as both humans and animals do. I’ve heard dogs cry for hours when their master is gone. I’ve seen cats go nuts, pee on carpets, break vases, to call back the absentee. I’ve seen pets refusing to eat, starving themselves to death, because they were grieving. I’ve seen chimpanzees reacting madly to the loss of their kin.

It must be mammal, you say. That makes sense, since I’ve never seen a bird mourn, not even a mourning dove. Actually, least of all mourning doves.

 

One day, coming home, I saw fern leaves on my porch. They lay between a vase and a pillar, in a corner where they couldn’t have flown on their own. They were “put” there, for sure: hyper-vigilant as I am, I didn’t miss the incongruity. I immediately checked on the plant growing in my front yard: spare and fragile, I would have hated if someone vandalized it. But it was intact: the leaves came from elsewhere. They were carried… as it happens when birds build their nests.

Could they have fallen from one? I looked up, finding nothing. Then I noticed they weren’t leaves, but triangular cuttings. Geometric, precise, organized in overlapping patterns… As I said they were put there, prepared: doubtlessly an architect bustled around, displaying plans and materials. There, of all places: my front door…

 

I searched frantically online for birds using ferns, while nesting. No one. Squirrels? I didn’t believe so: they reigned in the backyard, making dens with large objects, in a delimited zone, not including the front porch.

I finally cleared the fern cuttings, tossing them on the ground. But they kept coming back in similar fashion, like those jasmine bouquets the mafia scatters around prospected victims. In their purse, on their bed stand, their restaurant table, their car windshield… Day by day, to signify: “You’re followed dear, you’re never alone. You’ll be followed all the way to your grave, and this is a reminder”.

I started feeling tense. Then, one day, I lifted my gaze… there it was! In the uncanniest of places: a small ledge so exposed, at reach, that of course I hadn’t seen it. Like a thief, leaving clues in full sight, the bird knew we ignore what is evident. Perhaps so.

 

The nest… it was beautiful in its absurdity. I had rarely seen one so approximately conceived. It looked like the work of an abstract painter, loosely combining shapes on the canvas. Colors, too: brownish twigs, white fluff, bright green leaves, filigreed against the turquoise of the shelf. A nest? Sure! On its way…

Fascinated, I took pictures from inside the window, careful not to be seen, hoping not to scare or disturb the builder. But I didn’t succeed, or something else intervened. The next morning all lay scattered on the floor. I felt disappointed, then relieved. Thank God, the bird guessed its location was insecure, and it wisely renounced the project, setting for higher standards.

 

Not really. Twenty-four hours passed and the gathering resumed. In the same place, the surreal, futuristic nest was rebuilt: the bird had some grit or it truly liked it there. I restrained from documentation. I moved in and out, shyly, on tiptoes. It’s weird how cohabitation can change us…

Still, this second try was short lived. The nest was destroyed again. Maybe, seen its grave instability and flimsy nature, it tipped over. I sort of forgot about it.

 

A week later, I needed harvesting. I went for my handmade picker – a milk bottle nailed on a long stick. It felt heavier than usual, so I looked inside. Well! A nest was stuck at the bottom – in the style of the previous ones, though slightly improved. Or not: the bottle kept it together, that’s all.

I didn’t know what to do. Those naïve attempts didn’t leave me indifferent. Should I let the bird’s alacrity inspire me, build another pitcher and give it a chance? Alas, I couldn’t summon such patience, such wisdom. I thought harvesting was priority and I removed the nest. After more hesitation, I set it in a niche of my fence, seeming appropriate. But I knew it wouldn’t work. Nests can’t be relocated by third parties and still be considered home.

That one went as well. It was last.

 

Mourning doves are here all the time: they must feel at home. I hear and see them: they swing on electric wires, peck on grass, stroll in my driveway. They stand, leisurely, alone or in couple, till I park no more than a foot from their neck.

They are cute. I like them so much.

 

Mourning doves are famously sloppy builders. They don’t have nesting habits, besides total randomness. The task always takes them by surprise… didn’t the appropriate knowledge pile up in their genes, as it does for most animal species?

Apparently not. In the spring, each time, the couple is dumbstruck… “God, and now what?” They aimlessly wander, until they find something: a box, an old shoe… If a tree comes their way, they don’t say no, but they choose a small shaky branch, a fork so unbalanced, so low, anyone would dismiss it.

Most nesting attempts fail. By the time they gather bricks and concrete – so to speak – the foundation is gone, the first floor tumbled down. Someone kicked the box, or put on the shoe. They start over with equal naivety. What millennia haven’t taught is not learned in a lifetime… especially a dove’s lifetime. Or even two doves.

 

Yes, the couple is solid in such clumsy endeavor. Both of them carry on, till some kind of settling is reached. Often, right on the ground, as if they were quails: that they aren’t. Then, they take turns brooding, night and day…. They do what they can, but – due to scant logistics – accidents happen.

Doves aren’t the greatest breeders. I ask myself how the species has survived.

 

Mostly, I ask myself how they survived so gaily, nonchalantly, cool.

You say now the “mourning” appellative, traditionally attached to their call, makes sense. Absolutely not. Though their tune has been described as plaintive, doves don’t mourn at all. They are happy birds, which would account for their carelessness – that I read as a typical excess of optimism.

“Nesting time again!” she says.

“Do not worry, dear, we’ll find something.”

“But I heard the rents doubled since last year, and all the good deals are taken.”

“Do not worry, love, we’ll figure it out a bit later.”

And they go for another swing. For another song.

The Birds: DOVES was last modified: July 25th, 2016 by Toti O’Brien
The Birds
0 comment
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Avatar
Toti O’Brien

Toti O’Brien’s work has appeared in Conclave, Icarus Down, Intrinsick and Alebrijes, among other journals and anthologies. Her flash fiction “Incubus and your lips” was Best of the Net nominee for 2015. Serbian translations of her poems have appeared in Serbian literary journals. She has published five titles in Italian, also collaborating with various Italian magazines.

previous post
Sunday List: First CD Ever
next post
Birdwolf XI

You may also like

The Waters: Pacific Blues

February 1, 2020

The Birds: We Fall Migration

October 26, 2015

Interstates: Louisiana to Alabama to North Carolina to Maryland

August 22, 2016

Miniscule Structures

May 12, 2020
Facebook Twitter Instagram

Recent Comments

  • furiousvexation Loved this. Killer first line and such a painted picture. Bravo!

    The Birds: a poem ·  February 17, 2021

  • Deidra Brown Wonderful, moving work!

    The Birds: a poem ·  February 15, 2021

  • Ceres Growing up in a rural area, I've observed first-hand the disparate outlooks between urban children with environmentalist parents and children raised in the country. Modern agricultural practices...

    HOW VIDEO GAMES MADE ME BIOPHILIC ·  February 13, 2021

Featured Columns & Series

  • The Birds
  • Dinnerview
  • WOVEN
  • Variations on a Theme
  • BLACKCACKLE
  • Literacy Narrative
  • COVID-19
  • Mini-Syllabus
  • Their Days Are Numbered
  • On Weather
  • Disarticulations
  • The Waters
  • Session Report series
  • Birdwolf
  • Comics I've Been Geeking Out On
  • Small Press Releases
  • Books I Hate (and Also Some I Like)
  • The Poetics of Spaces
  • Tales From the End of the Bus Line
  • Fog or a Cloud
  • 30 Years of Ghibli
  • Cooking Origin Stories
  • YOU MAKE ME FEEL
  • Ludic Writing
  • Best of 2019
  • The Talking Cure
  • Food and Covid-19
  • Stars to Stories
  • DRAGONS ARE REAL OR THEY ARE DEAD
  • Foster Care
  • LEAKY CULTURE
  • Jem and the Holographic Feminisms
  • D&D with Entropy

Find Us On Facebook

Entropy
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

©2014-2021 The Accomplices LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Read our updated Privacy Policy.


Back To Top