humor

In the Garden of the Bats I wanted to prove to the neighbors that I had pizzazz, so I went ahead and built a garden of night-blooming flowers. With the…

my taxes are stacked with unrelated papers that need to be gone through and thrown out     Aches and pains placed gently under psoriatic arthritis misspelled words under daddy hit me…

when you’re loud i don’t know where i am are there people who don’t dream are there people who never sleep are there people who look like me why isn’t…

Dayo looked towards the train terminal and thought of all the ways he could die right now. Jumping in front of it, or stampeded by even-toed pouch animals—let’s call them…

The president is silent. To get into office, he had launched an erratic and often unintelligible campaign—an army for space, anti-immigration, anti-plant and animal, pro-large, expensive, and medieval wall, pro-flak…

Just one. Counting if we have enough green tea for both of us until Saturday Just kidding two. Blah is a good way to put it Rinsing black beans and…

There’s one behind the house, between the stacks of empty oil drums. She can hear it mewling. More voices join in, a miniature chorus of cartoonish pitches. This is how…

Steve invited me over for Oscar night to represent diversity among his friends Trader Joe’s frozen appetizers spanned the globe from pot stickers to samosas to egg rolls Commentary began…

Ronald Reagan Was an Idiot (and other observations about my birth year) I was born late. I could give any number of reasons I wanted to stay put. Every birth…

THE NIGHTLIGHT ANNUNCIATION Last night I dreamed that my front lawn was littered with the bodies of elementary school principals. My instincts tell me this speaks to either the death…

Small things I admit to after 44 years of finding dirty dishes in the dish drain     I’ve decided to stop complaining and put them away dirty   when it’s time…

THE INVISIBLE BRIDGE I am the invisible bridge the bear tiptoes across (Oh, you thought, maybe, he was jumping into the stream?) Wrong! I am the invisible bridge the bear…

New Patient Intake Form Instructions: Please answer the questions, then return this form to the woman at the desk. Name: My Japanese great-grandmother immigrated to California. She shed her birth…

While waiting for my therapist, I flip through the DSM-V and learn that I do not meet the criteria for the following diagnoses: Boanthropy: a condition in which the subject…