humor

If you truly wanted to unbury the spirit of the San Francisco Bay Area circa 2018, it’s harder to imagine a more fitting fossil of the zeitgeist than this slogan…

Edmund Garson awoke earlier than usual. He shuffled in a fog toward the bathroom to relieve his burning bladder. The mirrored medicine cabinet door above the sink hung ajar, moving…

I have a request I’d like to make. Only message me if you are serious about helping with this, I don’t need messages telling me I’m crazy or a sicko.…

“Don’t go too far,” the woman at the Diamond Door Health Spa said as I tied my running shoes. “These things happen fast.” Oh, but it’s a sparkling day with…

No one looked my way as I emerged from under the purple overhang past the sentinel row of queen palms to the deck of the posh seaside supper club where…

Eleanor’s husband is a carpenter who lives inside a window. Inside him is a trapped apprentice plumber. Being Eleanor is a job which she has just started, part of which…

Dear Meadowview Management, I write in response to your letter alleging negligence on my part by failing to pick up the droppings of my Samoyed dog, Sophie. I am sure…

Janice needed to get off the phone. She needed to sit in silence. A minute before, I had told her about my plans to meet up with a friend, a…

Wednesdays, I stare into the Abyss, i.e. staring into a mirror until my face doesn’t look like a face anymore but rather a swirling concoction of lumpy flesh, and then…

I am moving back to New York City from Georgia, and I have to find a place to live. I decide to stay at an uptown hostel while I look.…

Correctional. Federal. Once in California testing a bad boy’s new car, fast car, we’d found a stretch—oh it sailed— until a white van honked, waved us over. Printed on the…

An orange eviction notice sutures the aorta. Vena Cava has four days to re-chamber vessels, veins, arteries and valves from Wessex Estates: Senior Citizen Living Grounds. Tenants filed complaints against…

THE FIGHTER He had been in countless fights as a young man. Fighting had defined his life-path, had shaped his features. His spirit sported the adjective fighting like a battle-scarred…

You know what’s an underrated music genre? Jazz. I love jazz. It’s not for everyone. You have to have a keen musical ear like I do, and be, you know,…