BLACKCACKLE

Last night I pretended that I was a Sultan and you were one of my many mistresses and I had summoned you in particular from the large-print catalogue of palace…

Hello, Mrs Baker, and thank you for letting me speak today. Hi class, my name is Mr Devereaux, and I’m here to talk to you about my chosen career in…

You are waiting for him, the man who has promised to bring ropes to tie you up, you naughty thing you. It has been arranged. You placed an ad on…

Most of you will think Most Valuable Player, but those in software development may think Minimum Viable Product. Both are off-target. Think Minimum Viable President. Mr. Trump: Americans, whether we…

I am on a plane to Portland when the pilots disappear. The flight attendants laugh and start playing hide-and-seek. They assume people cannot leave a moving aircraft without making a…

GRIEF You hide your drugs in the cremation box of your beloved, dead cat. To process your grief, you make a powerpoint of pictures of your beloved, dead cat. It’s…

You know, acquaintances aged thirty-five to fifty on my Facebook, there was a time about six months ago when I feared to log-on, because when I did it would cost…

Did you know male jumping spiders dance to court the females? Some species raise their forelegs like a surrender or wave them side to side (all the fellas in the…

1)    “Look at all that snow: The Climate Change Denier’s Christmas” 2)    “Gingerbread Husband (Please Santa)” 3)    “Hark, The Heating Bill!” 4)    “Not Enough Eggnog in…

Dear Executive Team: I tender my resignation, effective immediately. To be sure, this is a very painful decision. I’ve always been this company’s biggest advocate and I strive to inspire…

I get paid three dollars to imagine being buried under the ice in the salad bar. Bob calls my name, and I ask what. “Come here.” I walk towards the…

We’re driving through cornfields and the light is perfect. Like ridiculously perfect, and you’re singing “Graceland,” and you and the sage hanging from your mirror are swaying and silhouetted like…

A pack of lavender Trojans was stacked precariously in an upwards pile next to Boggle on the white nightstand. Barnaby had taught Jaynie how to play the word game in…

1. Your orthodontist, Dr Kvello— This kind man has meticulously attended to the straightness of your teeth since you were 13 years old. His breath may be strange for somebody…