“Like ritual, [translation] is meant to signify a sacred absence, that is, a realm that, because it is above and beyond all forms of representation, stands as the ultimate limit and sanction of everything that can be said.”
“the translator may end up simply talking to himself, with neither God nor other Christians to connect with.”
-Vicente Rafael, Contracting Colonialism: Translation and Christian Conversion in Tagalog Society Under Early Spanish Rule.
“The question then arises: What would a ‘signature’ be which perpetually postponed the definitive location of name and person?”
-Rafael
“The ambivalence inherent in Tagalog Script tended to defer sense in favor of the sensation of sound as one slid from one signifier to another.”
-Rafael
“Being a ‘syllabic code,’ it could not be reduced to the conventions of a univocal reading.”
-Rafael
How everyone is a cop or is a shadow or is a shadow
of the police. Juan is alone Teresa is tired
I am pleased. I am, I’m policed with the
investigation, have you a cigarette left? Yes, I’ve
only one left. Do you like these shoes? Yes, I’ve
some cigarettes left.
Olympia. Olympia is high and tall removed from
matters. Olympia’s emblazoned on the back of
that man’s jacket is from Washington. Olympia,
Washington. To bring a high and tall removed
from matters thing to California is a danger.
Or is it a new sight. Or it is a damage. I do not remember
the vista, I remember only that I looked from
it, that I looked at it. From the vista I could see
a sight, mom said. The appropriate translation no one
has yet undertaken. Dani says I’ll rewrite my Oxford
application cause, it has everything to do with
feminist theory, and that Oxford essay wants nothing
of it. There are space in the paper spines that I have broken
by folding, it was I who screamed. It was me.
Broken it the way I’ve broken it. I broke Olèv on her
birthday, for her birthday froma great height to remove her
from mothers. Every day I don’t write Merle or
Rose I call her to protect her. To protect her from
my writing. I guess this one failed. A cop
parked inside a shadow. Two cops it is multi
plying me for amateurs, answers asked a lot.
Kendall said did you tell Merle or Rose I’m sorry
I don’t mean to pry. No, I said, that is fine,
yes, I lied, I told her. I’ve sent Merle some
writing. Writing that I wrote about her. I
think, maybe I did not. I lie. If to lie
is natural and to be the best writing is to
be natural, and the best writing is to tell
a truth that no one’s telling, well, what does one tell
the truth? Dear truth: parking ticket. Love
, Jared. Dear truth: arrested junky nurse. Love
, Jared. Dear truth: cage lily. Love
, Jared. Dear truth: dog park. Love
, Jared, dear truth, your hair is dead love
jared dear truth i have here your son, love
jared dear truth: is this yours? Is this your love
, jared. Dear truth: lie down here in this
trunk, and we cuff you for your own sake,
drunk, as we’ve breathalized the sake off your
breath, and the girls in jorts inside the Ford hatch
back riding by smile at your fate or, at your bare
facts, or your feats, and we pull your pink
shirt up a little overtop your balls now to see
if you are pregnant, and now you’re lying
on the sidewalk on your back in scrubs
head on pavement and I hear you talking but
I don’t hear your wording well as cop does,
cops do, they are multiplying, thy wear of the same god
go
damn thing all of them, all of me, please
she says, what’s up you say what’s up the cop
says cruelly, she you see or are you lying
down, and then I hear the cop say What’s
your birthday and the only truth say June 33rd Love,
Jared. Dear truth: Love Jared. Love,
Jared. You just dropped your hand
in a gutter. Dear truth : Three cops now
like I said. And two firefighters love me.
There are six men surrounding her. The firefighters
put on now blue gloves. What looks to be a defibrillator
case is pulled out. Looks sort of like a
Casio synthesizer, vintage. Six men now swirl her
around. FIRE: auto-correct. When I write ‘left’
MS Word auto-corrects, it to ‘Lethe.’ Truth is
forgetful, or impinges on memory, or defects memory,
or effects this loss. Left is not right, is not
correctness, its forgetfulness.
8:30pm
two quotes i read in this book by vicente rafael that might be helpful for organizing the Sefer Sanigoria thing i’ve been working on
“the translator may end up simply talking to himself, with neither God nor other Christians to connect with.”
and then
“The question then arises: What would a ‘signature’ be which perpetually postponed the definitive location of name and person?”
hmmm
I love the first one
not sure if i understand the second
let me read again
still don’t understand
let me read it again
the context is removed
from both
the second one specifically is speaking of Tagalog
language spoken largely in the Phillippines
and the writing system baybayin
baybayin has as a feature “kudlit”
which is a diacritical mark
in the same way modern hebrew script, say, will sometimes employ dots that signify a vowel to be added to
a consonant
but what kudlit marks do is change the ending sounds of words
and sometimes they’ll be so vague that it will signify many possible words and therefore many possible sounds and many possible meanings
simply by marking one word
and so instead of fixing meaning or specifying meaning or reducing meaning, like diacritical marks usually do, it opens up possibilities
kudlit as a word also means
“to wound”
oh jee
what hte hell
this frustrated the spaniards a whole lot when they colonized the philippines
that is so fascinating
yes i like it
so how did
the speakers of it read it
did they just know
from being familiar
what was meant
yes i guess so
but the interesting thing
is that sometimes they would just leave
“signatures”
on things
walls paper etcetera
like
names signed
right
think of it
if you just see a signature
like a name signed
without the name printed by it
you probably can’t read it
and you probably can’t pronounce it
YES
YES CONTINUE
i think that’s it
i’m trying to figure out the implications of this
hm i was coming closer to understanding
but where you lead is now as far as i got
well these signatures written in the baybayin system
seem very strange
and foreign to our concept of a signature
but it also reveals the strangeness in our practice of leaving signatures
i can sign a document, and that document testifies to its legitimacy
has yours been the same your whole life
or to my being bound to it
what i mean by same is not exactly
but it testifies to nothing if it isn’t already understood who is signing it
i am trying to figure out how this relates
beautiufl
to writing memoir
s
i understand now the quote more
thank you
i understand thank you
and i am wondering how i can write The Book of Defense without signing it
or by only signing it
so the name can take possession of persons
rather than me being one person unilaterally yoked by one name
if for example the traumatic experiences of my grandparents is written into their dna and then passes into
my genes
and i inherit these memories
why would i ever write a memoir i call mine
( i am reading )
hm
why would i ever write a memoir i call mine
i like that
i am sorry if i am not offering anything
better
111. The history of the prophets is full . of instructive example for men-given sense.
This book has no invented relation . to pleasure; corrosive are the scriptures rev . elated
antece dently, given explication o fall, it 15th direction and a porch.
it is the direction and a porch.
The history of prophets is a whale sound . in my room in the rain when there is breezes.
Its fill of example is . instructive for . to men given sense with for . well-
shouldered men. You are a well-shouldered man. This book is for Lauren . to give.
This book is no invention . related to pleasure; it corroborates the scriptures’ rev elation
before, it gives total explication of the sum total, it is the direction and a proof of grace
divine for the believers. We are in the Jury Room, and only now do . I want to be
your partner.
It is sane to question: and the birds will come
and go eat him on his head. Their leaving
of the tree will spray the cherry blos
sums will overcome him
a blood, a blossom headdress. The thing over
the witch will end having justice . having
just interrogated me this discretion irrevocably.
divorced irrevocably
balalaika: accompany discretion: chatter:
make a ruling.
eat out his head.
Then Joseph said to that man whose liberty
DO you predict? Do you remember me
a circle road to brain? DO you remember pounding
a circle round your love? Round your love
Satan made him into an oblivion, he forgot Joseph
circle mind his love, and Joseph permafrost
years yet still incarcerated.
Don’t forget remembering me as your arm
swiping for a walking stick that I can only
sense-intuit, and if I hand you it
There’s a bit of pointing.
I see it over there where I am
pointing. When you translate, you see nature.
I feel you fetishize the coming. It as a firm work
Shop. Called the song Reznikoff. It’s formidable.
It’s Adab. How do I know you
fetishize the cooking? It was a firm wok
are so racist? Because I know
myself.
I’m conduit, lover your master your j’taime. Don’t forget me as
one whom you j’taime. Aim. Satan made
for him . to forget him, Joseph circling round
his own aim, slave to own master, and Joseph
reminisced years yet still in jail
Remained yours yet still in jail.
Reformulated one day reigning king of Egypt
said to magist
rates of his being: I have seen
seven fat dreams engorged
by seven slender cows, and seven green stalks
and seven dry numbers. Mister! explicate
to me my vision, sever seven from se
verity to me my vision, if you know interpretation of
Freud’s dreams.
Do you know that you have stormed Joseph
Do you know what you have due to Joseph
and his brother, what had you done when you
were stoned and stared and storied in ignorance?
Are you a sort of Joseph? they said to
me Are you a case of Joseph? they said to
Joseph – Yes, I’m Joseph. And this is
my brother. God has been a farfighter for
us [God has been a good factor in
our economy]; as everything that fears
Him and Inflation, and that preserves is happy, along
side-God
-God will not make perish recompense for
child prodigies.
For the name of God, they responded, God has
permitted you you might do good to, to
us, although we might be salmon.
I dreamt that I was married to Rebekkah when I am highly reactive yet I convince myself somehow that I am proactive, and in this way end relationships before they start, in this way I eschew commitment and I did in making life but in my rare dream I’m married to Rebekkah. We have an arrangement. Strange roseate dream, dream in pink filter and a dream that rose or elevated. The arrangement was that we are happy. I do not know what conditions had conditioned this arrangement, I just know they suddenly were. I remember us walking around. I dreamt I was on an intercity bus and saw Lauren sittalkingtalking seriously to a friend on a curb. That day awake she said she’d cry to Suha. That is my method, she said, for not fainting. And I thought or I think. That method might not work, I said, on Suha. I know Lauren said, I’ll have to do the other thing. What’s the other thing I said. I’ll have to suddenly know entirely the material. “entirely the material” is a wonderful phrase. Saara C says she is my Hype Bitch. I wish that were my pen name. Hi Hype Bitch I responded.
I dreamt that I was married to Rebekkah when I am highly reactive yet I convince myself somehow that I am proactive, and in this way end relationships before they start, in this way I eschew commitment and I did in making life but in my rare dream I’m married to Rebekkah. We have an arrangement. Strange roseate dream, dream in pink filter and a dream that rose or elevated. The arrangement was that we are happy. I do not know what conditions had conditioned this arrangement, I just know they suddenly were. I remember us walking around. I dreamt I was on an intercity bus and saw Lauren sittalkingtalking seriously to a friend on a curb. That day awake she said she’d cry to Suha. That is my method, she said, for not fainting. And I thought or I think. That method might not work, I said, on Suha. I know Lauren said, I’ll have to do the other thing. What’s the other thing I said. I’ll have to suddenly know entirely the material.
Bitch I responded.
I wish that were my pen name.
Saara Camerson says she is my Hype Bitch.
I’ll have to suddenly know the material entirely.
A friend flaps her leopard-print coat open at me as
a wave.
the other thing. What’s the other thing I said
or Suha. I know Lauren said, I’ll have to do
think. That method might not work I said
She said, for not failing. And I thought or I
awake she said she’d cry to Suha. That is my method,
talking seriously to, a friend on a curb. That day
was on an intercity bus and saw heaven sitting
were. I remember us walking around. I dreamt I
condition this arrangement, I just know they suddenly
were.
Meyer Gorbach and Sarai Perchiak are acts of translation that cannot possibly be measured or understood, two languages that cannot perfectly be replicated, and yet there they contend or are contents existing in the target language. Steal my heart away. Children of Meyer Gorbach and Sara Perchiak are Louis Gorbach, born in Russia, Rebecca Gorbach, born in Russia, Abraham Gorbach, born in Russia, and born in Russia too was Joseph. This is 1878, where I come in. My first trip to the USA was before 1900, my last was with Rebecca, Clara, Charlie and Dave Dorfman, though every trip I made, Abe joined. Marian Schechtman Ernstoff says: the Schechtman family were musicians (she did not know what kind): the name Schechtman evolved from schocket man. A schocket is the man who killed, by Jewish ritual, animals. I was born in Russia. I married Doris, a Schechtman. We had, amongst other children, Charlie.
Charles Theodore Schechtman came to history, the U.S. as Israel Schecter (?) in 1905 or 1906. Charlie died of heart disease. He had medical information: macular degeneration (loss of visual acuity in the oval yellowish area, surrounding “la fovea,” near the center of [my heart the retina in the eye, the region of greatest visual acuity] the origin. The origin is late Middle English, but it is from the Latin, ‘spot’) or ‘damned spot,’ arthritis in the back, familial tremor. I have not seen any family member tremble in the way I do: in the cold, in the sustained world, in wind, in the dot of flirting, in anger, against others’ anger, when mom and father fight, when sisters scream, when all men are acting…out and I do not believe that angel’s right, to death, when I am withholding action, when I do not believe another’s actions are right, when I do not believe another’s actions, at all, are possible, when I hold inside my action, it vibrates, or when I write, when I write a foam, when I write’s a form of a delirious tremens.
Children of Charlie and of Sylvia Shakin are: Sheila, my great grandmother, first-generation American; Reba who lives; ‘Jon’ Jonathan. Sheila died the first day of the new year 2015. I remember walking by the river through the snow no empathy, no path, and it was snowing. I looked down and saw no boats, the water an obsidian color in a contrast with the falling snow, I was smoking. Mila asked Is Sheila in the box? Corey said yes. I said nothing, I carried the box. I wore leather suspenders. I shoveled earth and I dropped earth on the box as if it were a clod of miracle. They loosed the dirt from the earth and lifted it with greater effort than the box I dropped the dirt on. Sheila’s medical information: damn spot.
The Schechtman and the Gorbach family history ends, thus far, at Corey Harvey and Ross Brazil, their children are: Mila Brazil, born November 25th, 2010, Mount Pleasant, SC and Sadie Brazil, born October 6th, 2015, Nashville, TN.
Typo
Sad bag
of
my
Lecithin
of my
Larry
typos
-Andy
Seven fat dreams engorged
by seven dry numbers, by seven slender
crows don’t hold hands, and seven
green guns stalling
and seven dry numbers. More numbers or
mouths. To me my vision severs seven from
veritable movies. He will sacrifice me and when
that doesn’t grow the apples, they will
sacrifice you. And when that doesn’t work they will
sacrifice my god. And when that doesn’t work the
planets vibrate.
the phone will vibrate
Olèv was sick, had done the night before cocaine, maybe then Olèv wasn’t sick. Olèv says her friend Sam’s a stickler for rules, her sister Patty, too. Lots of texts gather as a set to build a name. Nick said to Katie that he knows the drink of that man, I knew his drink Nick says, I will make it. Katie rolls her eyes at me because she can’t at Nick. I wake up get Olèv Sudafed. I shimmy on my pants over nothing, I pull my shirt on over nothing, I go downstairs to First Left bathroom, open the mirror. You pulled the wool over my eyes I tell Olèv, does that mean you are the wolf in sheep’s clothing, I can’t answer. I see the name Virginia V. A mans gray hair blows tall up in the grey world, wind on the gray day, Joseph’s up, he’s in black shirt, black shorts, white running socks, talks to his car after walking to it, or he talks to his maroon sweater, a running sweater he extracts from First Right car (pulls from mirror), the wind blathers and the skin blisters, becomes many bumps, I read the Braille that tells Olèv’s temp, you’re cold I say. Olèv dreams her and I…go to gatherer’s house, Ish bikes by, “call me Ish” he once said actually to me, he is divorced in this dream, an unknown woman asks if we want water but it’s not an offer is the feeling that we get, Olèv says, we would have to pay for it, woman asks again, then asks again. Olèv mocks her Do you want water, and the woman cries and hides in First Left bathroom. Mr. Shula comes out says what did you do to my girlfriend, Olèv says it, M.S. says You just couldn’t help yourself could you. I cannot help myself. Fathers. I zone out some during telling, I cannot help myself, when I return Olèv describes a woman dancing but she mostly is describing now a woman’s painted fingernails, painted chocolate color with three thin green
bands, bright lime bands fanning, I take supplements because my nails are brittle Olèv says. I have to wonder nothing.
Bond despair two suns . brothers Oy and rubbed into Schechtmans. SHocket ma: he who in a Jewish ritual kills animals. Placed wide their language welding Dios, Cruz, Cristo, Mister, Trinidad: the way a weed overtakes a meadow or a garden or a plot by and with itself and died more; of itself and more and more of itself an emplot of garden, a variegated garden Potempkin and of crocuses and narcissus ice folly neurosis…narcissus…dots this box I will have dropped a clod of earth over Jack’s grave. Every day for 12 years.
