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FictionNew Fiction

New Fiction: “Idiomas”

written by Erick Sáenz December 13, 2017

*

An early memory: one hand clasps a bowl of soup. The other extends, fingers out. Cuchara off my lips seamlessly. Jack and Jill Preschool.  1983.

*

I try researching the school online. Like my native tongue, the site no longer exists. Memory // dream. What severs the two?

*

I text my mother: “why was I put into an all-English speaking Kindergarten?”

 

A full minute of ghostly ellipses.

*

It only took months to become proficient. One language fell behind the other.

 

*

Finally, my phone buzzes:  “no bilingual allowed at the time.”

*

My partner sends me a pdf, “brief history of bilingual education.” I learn that full assimilation usually happens after three generations.

*

I’m the first generation born here on both sides of my family.

*

What I learn: shortly after I was born my parents left West Whittier for the East side. My mother uses barrio, her choice of noun ominous.

*

What I learn: my sister was being recruited by a local gang.  White suburbia distanced us.

*

Returning home, I attempt to visit the preschool. Now a church, its spires cast shadows on trimmed lawn.


This piece is part of a larger manuscript that’s forthcoming via The Operating System in 2018. “Susurros a mi Padre” represents my efforts to connect language and culture, family and loss. The book charts my fractured relationship with my father: a man whose Mexican blood I inherited. I collage memories, first-hand accounts, and interviews related to my Latinx identity in an effort to resurrect the culture that alludes me. From Los Angeles to San Jose, this is my journey to redefine myself.

 

New Fiction: “Idiomas” was last modified: December 13th, 2017 by Erick Sáenz
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Erick Sáenz

Erick Sáenz is a latinx writer from Los Angeles currently living in San Jose. He is the founding editor of Lilac Press, a small DIY imprint that releases limited-run chapbooks. He serves on The OS communications team. He was previously a contributing editor for the online magazine Cheers from the Wasteland. In addition to self-publishing several zines, his writing can be found online. His first book, Susurros a mi padre, was released by The Operating System in 2018. His current manuscript is titled "Ashes Grow // Something Beautiful."

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