Enter your email Address

ENTROPY
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      On Fantasy and Artifice

      January 19, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Tales From the End of the Bus Line: Aging Ungraciously

      January 18, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Salt and Sleep

      January 15, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Revolution for Covid

      January 14, 2021

      Introspection

      The Birds: A Special Providence in the Fall of a Sparrow

      January 2, 2020

      Introspection

      Returning Home with Ross McElwee

      December 13, 2019

      Introspection

      The Birds: In Our Piety

      November 14, 2019

      Introspection

      Variations: Landslide

      June 12, 2019

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      The Birds: Little Birds

      December 11, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Perdix and a Pear Tree

      December 9, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Glimmer of Blue

      November 23, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Circling for Home

      November 13, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: The Guest

      November 9, 2020

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: Shrapnel Maps by Philip Metres

      January 18, 2021

      Review

      Perceived Realities: A Review of M-Theory by Tiffany Cates

      January 14, 2021

      Review

      Review: Danger Days by Catherine Pierce

      January 11, 2021

      Review

      Review – : once teeth bones coral : by Kimberly Alidio

      January 7, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

      Small Press

      death of workers whilst building skyscrapers

      November 10, 2020

      Small Press

      Slate Roof Press

      September 15, 2020

      Small Press

      Ellipsis Press

      September 1, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Games

        Hunt A Killer, Earthbreak, and Empty Faces: Escapism for the Post-Truth Era

        September 21, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

        Video Games

        Best of 2018: Video Games

        December 17, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch

ENTROPY

  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Advertising
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Info on Book Reviews
  • Essays
    • All Introspection
      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      On Fantasy and Artifice

      January 19, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Tales From the End of the Bus Line: Aging Ungraciously

      January 18, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Salt and Sleep

      January 15, 2021

      Creative Nonfiction / Essay

      Revolution for Covid

      January 14, 2021

      Introspection

      The Birds: A Special Providence in the Fall of a Sparrow

      January 2, 2020

      Introspection

      Returning Home with Ross McElwee

      December 13, 2019

      Introspection

      The Birds: In Our Piety

      November 14, 2019

      Introspection

      Variations: Landslide

      June 12, 2019

  • Fiction
    • Fiction

      The Birds: Little Birds

      December 11, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Perdix and a Pear Tree

      December 9, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: A Glimmer of Blue

      November 23, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: Circling for Home

      November 13, 2020

      Fiction

      The Birds: The Guest

      November 9, 2020

  • Reviews
    • All Collaborative Review Video Review
      Review

      Review: Shrapnel Maps by Philip Metres

      January 18, 2021

      Review

      Perceived Realities: A Review of M-Theory by Tiffany Cates

      January 14, 2021

      Review

      Review: Danger Days by Catherine Pierce

      January 11, 2021

      Review

      Review – : once teeth bones coral : by Kimberly Alidio

      January 7, 2021

      Collaborative Review

      Attention to the Real: A Conversation

      September 3, 2020

      Collaborative Review

      A Street Car Named Whatever

      February 22, 2016

      Collaborative Review

      Black Gum: A Conversational Review

      August 7, 2015

      Collaborative Review

      Lords of Waterdeep in Conversation

      February 25, 2015

      Video Review

      Entropy’s Super Mario Level

      September 15, 2015

      Video Review

      Flash Portraits of Link: Part 7 – In Weakness, Find Strength

      January 2, 2015

      Video Review

      Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

      March 31, 2014

      Video Review

      The Desert Places by Amber Sparks and Robert Kloss, Illustrated by Matt Kish

      March 21, 2014

  • Small Press
    • Small Press

      Gordon Hill Press

      December 8, 2020

      Small Press

      Evidence House

      November 24, 2020

      Small Press

      death of workers whilst building skyscrapers

      November 10, 2020

      Small Press

      Slate Roof Press

      September 15, 2020

      Small Press

      Ellipsis Press

      September 1, 2020

  • Where to Submit
  • More
    • Poetry
    • Interviews
    • Games
      • All Board Games Video Games
        Creative Nonfiction / Essay

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Games

        Hunt A Killer, Earthbreak, and Empty Faces: Escapism for the Post-Truth Era

        September 21, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Victoriana and Optimism

        December 14, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: Lady of the West

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Session Report: Paperback and Anomia

        July 27, 2019

        Board Games

        Ludic Writing: The Real Leeds Part 12 (Once in a Lifetime)

        November 10, 2018

        Video Games

        How Zelda Saved Me: The Inspiration, Feminism, and Empowerment of Hyrule

        November 2, 2020

        Video Games

        Best of 2019: Video Games

        December 13, 2019

        Video Games

        Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the Spirit of Generosity

        December 31, 2018

        Video Games

        Best of 2018: Video Games

        December 17, 2018

    • Food
    • Small Press Releases
    • Film
    • Music
    • Paranormal
    • Travel
    • Art
    • Graphic Novels
    • Comics
    • Current Events
    • Astrology
    • Random
  • RESOURCES
  • The Accomplices
    • THE ACCOMPLICES
    • Enclave
    • Trumpwatch
Food

How to satisfy your hunger when you can’t eat anything, or, All I needed to overcome my eating disorder was a grill and a bottle of olive oil (a glibly vast oversimplification)

written by Guest Contributor February 5, 2019

1.
Char grilled eggplant into a new form, its purple skin flaking and twirling around the fork as you try to cut it, the insides almost mush and mostly seeds. Brush raw slices with as much olive oil as the fruit can hold — which would be too much under other circumstances — and watch it soak like a sponge and disappear until it doesn’t. The oil will coat your tongue in a way that soothes in a way you can’t explain, but only in that particular moment. Swallow fast and hard, past the lump you carry like a stone in your gullet.

2.
Assemble a caprese salad with sliced red tomatoes from the garden, still warm from the late-August sun. Choose the ones so plump they taunt, obscene in their curves that sometimes burst through skins too thin to contain their excess. This way: One slice of tomato, one of fresh mozzarella, around and around in a spiral until the entire white Buffalo china plate is covered. Plug the olive oil bottle’s spout with your finger and drizzle in concentric circles. Then the same with good balsamic, and lick a little off your thumb. Snip fresh basil from a pot on the back porch until your finger smell like summer. It’s meditative, this plate, the making of it, like a labyrinth manifest on the table. Eat it quickly, with your hands if you have to, before you can think about cheese.

3.
Grill chicken breast, all of the fat cut off meticulously ahead of time. Sprinkled with roast chicken seasoning, you’ll know it by that name. 0 calories, mostly salt. You won’t know what the unit contains because their individual components might not exist outside the lab it came from. Don’t think about that, and especially not about how it mimics the college campus you’ve escaped from, or your own life, or society, or anything else at all. Whatever else you do, don’t cut the raw chicken near the vegetables, or the silverware and wash the counter a foot around with soapy water hot-hot-hot until it scalds your hands. People have died from E.Coli, although we can’t say where, and mortality makes poor dinner conversation.

4.
Drink red wine in whatever glasses haven’t broken. Splash it in and don’t rationalize why the highest-calorie drink in the house still feels safe. Try not to imagine what that means about inhibitions, and welcome the first warm flush. The next one. Drink until safety buzzes in your belly, but never until the anxiety will rush up and choke you the next morning. Forget to wash your hands and bring them to your face, still smelling of smoke and freshly-cut leaves. This will smell like home forever, so bottle it in your memory for moments when you don’t have one.

5.
Eat this outside, at the type of picnic table they sell at grocery stores, on china plates brought from indoors. Dine under the canopy of trees you’ve laid under for so long, you can see their patterns when you close your eyes. Gather at the table with the family that knows you better than anyone, but blinds themselves to the hardest parts of yourself and each other, like so many families do. Laugh about nothing and complain about everything. Some ideas:

— The lack of rain
— Too much of it
— How overgrown the garden’s gotten (no one will be able to tell)
— Something the pope said, and how badly you’ve misquoted it
— A coworker’s foibles and how little time she’s got left in her job (at this writing, many years later, she’ll still hold it)
— The many things families talk about evening after evening that burble like a subterranean stream underneath the conversation that, really, has very little to do with actual words and everything to do with the sustenance of eating together with people you understand and don’t understand and accept and can’t and keep coming back to, regardless.

6.
Sustain yourself as much with their faces as your plate. You’ll all become a kintsuji of families and foods, long after you come to terms with both of them. Emerge from that summer as from a forge, a little harder where your soul calloused under pressure of your own mind’s creation. Remember this plate as a breaking open and a mending, a meal and so much more. Not everything is as simple and as complicated as a hot grill and a cold salad but sometimes, it is.

 


Lizz Schumer is a writer and editor living and working in Astoria, NY. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Bon Appetit, The Huffington Post, Serious Eats, Edible Queens, VinePair, Whisky Advocate, and many others. She’s usually snacking.

How to satisfy your hunger when you can’t eat anything, or, All I needed to overcome my eating disorder was a grill and a bottle of olive oil (a glibly vast oversimplification) was last modified: February 5th, 2019 by Guest Contributor
chickendisordered eatingeggplantLizz Schumerlyrical poetry
0 comment
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Avatar
Guest Contributor

Entropy posts are often submitted to us by our fantastic readers & guest contributors. We'd love to receive a contribution from you too. Submission Guidelines.

previous post
I Was Born From a Woman Whose Body Was Stolen
next post
Dr. Optimiser – Borders

You may also like

Dinnerview: Sunni Wilkinson

April 15, 2020

Dinnerview: Don Share

April 30, 2015

Dinnerview: Jac Jemc

May 14, 2015

Thanksgiving with the Trumpocalypse

November 27, 2016
Facebook Twitter Instagram

Recent Comments

  • Lei Yu wow so beautifully written!

    Review – : once teeth bones coral : by Kimberly Alidio ·  January 18, 2021

  • Lisa S Thank you so much for your kind words and your feedback. I can only hope my story is able to help someone who needs it.

    WOVEN: This isn’t love ·  January 8, 2021

  • Ann Guy Thank you, Josh. And glad you didn’t get tetanus at band camp on that misguided day.

    A Way Back Home ·  December 24, 2020

Featured Columns & Series

  • The Birds
  • Dinnerview
  • WOVEN
  • Variations on a Theme
  • BLACKCACKLE
  • Literacy Narrative
  • COVID-19
  • Mini-Syllabus
  • Their Days Are Numbered
  • On Weather
  • Disarticulations
  • The Waters
  • Session Report series
  • Birdwolf
  • Comics I've Been Geeking Out On
  • Small Press Releases
  • Books I Hate (and Also Some I Like)
  • The Poetics of Spaces
  • Fog or a Cloud
  • Tales From the End of the Bus Line
  • 30 Years of Ghibli
  • Cooking Origin Stories
  • YOU MAKE ME FEEL
  • Ludic Writing
  • Best of 2019
  • The Talking Cure
  • Stars to Stories
  • DRAGONS ARE REAL OR THEY ARE DEAD
  • Foster Care
  • Food and Covid-19
  • LEAKY CULTURE
  • Jem and the Holographic Feminisms
  • D&D with Entropy

Find Us On Facebook

Entropy
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

©2014-2020 The Accomplices LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Read our updated Privacy Policy.


Back To Top