Kowloon Walled City – Container Ships (2012)
You stack one ladder on top of the other so you can light yourself on fire with the sun, but, before you get there, you slip off the highest rung and you drown in the melted ice from around your heart before you even hit the ground.
* * *
Eagle Twin – The Thundering Heard (2018)
A biblical storm, but instead of raining frogs it’s mastodons that hit the ground running.
* * *
Porcupine Tree – Moonloop (1994)
You pay too much for a jacket at a thrift store that looks kind of like the one The Sixth Doctor wore and then hallucinate yourself walking up and down the stairs at the same time when you wear it to bed and overheat.
* * *
Christian Fennesz and Jim O’Rourke – It’s Hard For Me to Say I’m Sorry (2016)
Popcorn going back into its kernels.
* * *
Zeal and Ardor – Stranger Fruit (2018)
You spend an afternoon trying to win Black Keys tickets from a local radio contest while drawing corpse paint on your grandpa’s Marty Robbins gospel LPs.
* * *
Harvey Milk – Courtesy and Goodwill Toward Men (1997)
Archival footage of a manic-depressive Bigfoot arguing with a garbage disposal in slow motion.
* * *
Scorpions – In Trance (1975)
Getting your tarot read in an abandoned strip club that’s in the process of being bought out by a Halloween City store.
* * *
Steely Dan – Katy Lied (1975)
While drunk on Bud Heavy in the Beat Literature section of the library, you keep yelling, “At least my FAVORITE bar has absinthe.”
* * *
King Crimson – THRAK
Your child figures out that you signed them up for karate to watch them get their ass kicked so they beat you to death with a mellotron.
* * *
Neil Young – On the Beach (1974)
You rip out the last page of every story in your copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son and wonder what it’ll be like to be happy someday.
* * *
Clifford Brown and Max Roach – Study In Brown
The tires of your car all start chasing each other instead of taking orders and you get where you’re going in the most wonderful way.
* * *
The Exploding Hearts – Guitar Romantic (2003)
After you get out of jail you get a job operating the Ferris wheel at the fair and you do a 3:00 AM wedding ceremony with a girl in a leather jacket in every town.
* * *
Yes – Going for the One (1977)
Your favorite substitute history teacher tells you the same jokes he always tells you, except now he has a goatee and a haircut that wouldn’t get him arrested.
* * *
Raven – The Pack Is Back
A band based on the nine second jingle that Wayne and Garth open their cable access show with.
* * *
VUUR – In This Moment We Are Free (2017)
A lonely weight bench hovering three inches above the ground at a Renaissance Fair.
