Van Halen – Women and Children First
A new quality control ordinance from the Used Vehicle Sales Association requires all road-ready ‘62-‘79 Chevy Novas to include a balled-up dress from a Pasadena cocktail waitress in the backseat.
* * *
Mutilated By Zombies – Scripts of Anguish (2018)
A couple dozen academic essays about the film Soylent Greenall cut up and pasted back together in a different order.
* * *
R.E.M. – Murmur (1983)
The guy who used to fake a British accent Freshman year is way cooler than the abstract of his dissertation about who-the-fuck-knows would lead you to believe.
* * *
Radiohead – Pablo Honey (1993)
The way you can tell that the new Science & Technology teacher at the high school in town always wanted to come of age in the 1960s is because he won’t stop talking about it every time you run into him outside the place in the mall that sells 3/4-sleeve shirts.
* * *
Radiohead – The Bends (1995)
You can hear the new Science & Technology teacher in town scream at night for the National Guard to show up and bomb the whole town, something you consider unlikely, though you see his point.
Radiohead – OK Computer (1997)
The new Science & Technology teacher in town got a keyboard and he’s pretty good at it, but some of the stuff he says about artificial intelligence and misquoting Elton John lyrics are kind of starting to weird you out a bit.
* * *
Radiohead – Kid A (2000)
The new Science & Technology teacher in town has some really beautiful ideas about the idea of lapsed effects from Y2K.
* * *
Radiohead – Amnesiac (2001)
“Seriously, though: Y2K,” the now old and paranoid Science & Technology teacher in town says.
* * *
King Crimson – Red (1974)
The hole in the earth that you’ve fallen into is a mouth but you don’t realize it until you stop screaming but the screaming doesn’t stop.
* * *
Tomb Mold – Manor of Infinite Forms (2018)
You run out of paper when drawing your comic book about a reanimated corpse with a knife for a head so you draw the last few pages on slabs of concrete.
* * *
See Through Dresses – See Through Dresses (2016)
The promises you made in the summer come true by winter—and then you sleep.
* * *
New Order – Power, Corruption & Lies (1983)
You throw flowers instead of money on the stage when your favorite stripper fails her botany exam.
* * *
Chavez – Ride the Fader (1996)
From a giant slice through the outer reaches of outer space, more outer space flows out.
* * *
Sugar – Beaster (1993)
You see Jesus in old instructional VHS tapes about how to fix your car using only confetti and blood.
* * *
Church of Misery – Master of Brutality (2001)
You forget that you’re still wearing the gas mask you attach to your bong, so you get some odd looks when you’re checking out books about serial killers with someone else’s library card.
* * *
Yes – Close to the Edge (1972)
The guy who makes the background music for Rainforest Cafe accidentally dips the tassels of his jacket in some ranch dressing when trying to explain climate change to you.
* * *
U2 – War (1983)
Someone at a protest is about to give an impromptu speech but, thankfully, they explode instead.
* * *
MC5 – Kick Out the Jams (1969)
Brainwashing Miss Teen Nosebleed USA.
