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Music

HERE ARE THE ALBUMS I LISTENED TO THIS WEEK (01/12/19)

written by Ryan Werner January 12, 2019

Red House Painters – Down Colorful Hill (1992)

You read Ulyssesin one sitting and then very slowly describe to your therapist what you see on various Rorschach tests.

 

* * *

 

Cat Power – Moon Pix (1998)

The most played album at an Area 51 singles bar jukebox after 1:00 AM.

 

* * *

 

Lethargy – It’s Hard To Write With a Little Hand (1996)

Several compound fractures having an argument over which one is making the person die more.

 

 

* * *

 

Windy & Carl – Depths (1998)

You meet your soul mate because you both had “driftwood floating down a river made of infinite chants about the heart” as your Religious View on a dating website for narcoleptics.

 

* * *

 

Windy & Carl – The Bliss Out, Vol. 2 (1997)

Fire and water coming to an agreement on how they’ll live their lives together.

 

* * *

 

King Crimson – Lizard (1970)

Thankfully, you don’t really have any friends, so nobody will tell you that the 400000 word medieval RPG you’re writing doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

 

* * *

 

Nik Bärtsch – Llyrìa (2010)

Your math and composition teachers chip in on an audiophile setup to blast porno jazz between classes.

 

 

* * *

 

Bedhead – WhatFunLifeWas (1994)

You agree to be telepathically burdened by the mortician in town in exchange for a casket you can get a decent night’s rest in.

 

* * *

 

Pretty Maids – Red, Hot and Heavy (1984)

How your friends expect you to find the time to go throw empty beer bottles at your ex-girlfriend’s house when you need to get the stains out of your second and fifth favorite pairs of leather pants, you’ll never know.

 

* * *

 

Seefeel – More Like Space (1993)

You put on black lipstick using the light from a lava lamp and then you start telling people you went to a super chill rave.

 

* * *

 

Earthride – Vampire Circus (2009)

You’ve smoked meth off a dirty steak knife borrowed from a guy named Pigpen.

 

* * *

 

Stoort Neer – en glad titel på en sorglig skiva (2018)

In exchange for a tattoo of people being decapitated on a carousel, you customize the tattoo artist’s car to redline and bury the needle as soon as it’s put in Drive.

 

 

* * *

 

The Menzingers – After the Party (2017)

The person who wrote Black Flag lyrics on the inside front and back cover of an old On the Road paperback is, but also isn’t, you.

 

* * *

 

Robin Guthrie & Harold Budd – Bordeaux (2011)

From a pinhole in a cherry slowly leaks the universe and everything.

HERE ARE THE ALBUMS I LISTENED TO THIS WEEK (01/12/19) was last modified: January 12th, 2019 by Ryan Werner
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Ryan Werner
Ryan Werner

Ryan Werner is a cook at a preschool in the Midwest. He plays in bands and has written books. His website is RyanWernerWritesStuff.com and you can find him on Facebook and Instagram (@yeahwerner) if you are pleased with or upset about or have suggestions for his album reviews. He hates ska.

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