Mickey’s the thinnest I’ve ever seen him always been a skinny fucker but he’s been hitting it hard the past few months never eats he’s disappearing jeans hanging off him gaunt he’ll need his Ma soon if he doesn’t stay off the speed long enough to eat something no point in talking to him about it too wired not the right time – he’s saying why did you empty the basket? there were puppies in the basket she had six puppies one died in childbirth you can’t split them up they have to all go to one home – they will – help me find the puppies – there are no puppies man – try telling him that threatening to call the USPCA like what the fuck would we do with a basket of puppies? why the fuck would we hide a basket of puppies man that’s not cool – she ate the dead puppy – hang on dogs don’t eat their dead or their infants – they do vital nutrients – this is a domesticated animal you’re talking about not a feral? – all dogs google it – gorillas practice infanticide – and dogs google it – problem with Mickey is he’s too intelligent too much going on up there got fucked out of Queens for being off his face his jaw’s rotating bottom teeth out dislocated must be hard to talk with a gob like that can’t hear the music – there’s a puppy in the washing machine he’s screaming turns out there isn’t and the machine isn’t even turned on your mouth’s like a fuckin washing machine man you’re foaming sit down – now he’s saying there’s a portal in the washing machine obviously the puppies went through the portal the portal’s closing up how do we get the portal reopened? – turn it on and keep the door open – won’t turn on with the door open where’s the manual I need a screwdriver – you can’t dismantle her washing machine – it’s not a washing machine it’s a portal there’s a blue light at the back the portal’s almost closed quick I need the screwdriver to keep it open – he’s in the fridge can’t find a screwdriver got a packet of ham does a line off a slice of ham licking the ham – I’m wrong about the portal I need a diagram to get to the bottom of this – drawing a picture of the puppies on the wall can’t stop him it’s part of the investigation – got it – puts ham in the washing machine – puppies like ham that’ll get them back – thought dogs like dogmeat? – only in medical or cultural emergencies – gives it ten seconds – no I’m wrong about this – back to the diagram Louise is going to kill him when she sees the diagram on her wall like those cave paintings in France he can hear the puppies upstairs – they’re hurt – have to help him out can’t let someone suffer alone thinking the puppies are hurt or something it’s like a treasure hunt no one ever finds treasure anyway on a treasure hunt I thought he was telling the truth about the puppies I heard whimpers it was him whimpering in a wardrobe found another portal too late this one’s closed too pure breakdown he’s crying thinks they’re dead have to make him feel better out into the garden fresh air nature clears the head puppies are supposed to make you feel better be all cute he’s got it all wrong it’s not supposed to be like this nice relief in the garden Mickey’s quiet looking at the stars starts barking – stop it man – I can hear them – it’s your own echo or a neighbour’s dog get inside man – pull him inside barking trying to communicate with the puppies – course there’s barking it’s a neighbourhood always going to be dogs where there’s humans you know this Mickey you’re a scientist – someone give him something to bring him down – another line got an endless supply the gluebag he’ll not sleep for a week he thinks her coat’s a puppy it’s a fur hood takes three of us to convince him it’s a coat – has no legs or face look – cross-reference with the diagram it’s ok he deems – need to forget about the puppies man – trying to show us a clip on YouTube about puppy farms thinks someone’s changed the language on the laptop to chinese now the Chinese have got the puppies – you know what they do with dogs – nobody’s really capable of using the laptop he might be right someone’s changed the language now the laptop’s a portal not a puppy portal a portal for change – I’m going to reprogram my DNA saw it in a documentary got to speak to it in binary gives you superpowers got to take this opportunity – binary to the beat makes sense to him faster than the beat gabba fingering the air faster and faster with the binary speech – 01001101 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 00001010 01110011 01110101 01110010 01110000 01100001 01110011 01110011 01100101 01100100 00101110 – and then his head exploded for real I’m telling you his head just pure exploded in the middle of the party BANG brains everywhere he busted his own head and everyone’s fucking screaming huddling together room full of PTSD victims images burned into our nervous systems for the rest of our days if he’d just been able to chill the fuck out for a few minutes people always say Belfast people talk fast well they’ve no idea how fast it can go nobody knows how fast someone can talk until they’ve seen someone’s head explode from it and he looked the most peaceful he did all night when he went binary suppose he died doing what he loved being a fucking spacer my assessment is the gab gland in his brain went that’d be Mickey’s assessment too his head kind of swelled and retracted like an airbag all night a skinny face like his shouldn’t have been bloating like that it was pure obvious his head was going to burst looking back at it fuck sake I thought my head was going to burst listening to it there was nothing anyone could do to stop it destiny man he hit another dimension it’s like those spontaneous human combustions too much going on inside you and boom off you go like a bomb try telling the cops that they think he was shot in the head or shot himself in the head they’re getting identical stories like no forensics nothing they can do and I figured out where the puppies were there’s a bottle of fabric softener on top of the washing machine with a picture of a basket of puppies on it crazy bastard.
Image Credit: Chauvet-Pont d’Arc Cave, Ardêche, southern France
