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Creative Nonfiction / EssayFeatured

A Cannibal Explains Himself To Himself

written by Will Alexander August 21, 2018

If death is the absence of life, then death’s death is life.

–Sun Ra

Something eats us, something spontaneously de-ignites us and spirals us to the grave. This being an axial shock to ourselves as created wonder. In this sense we are figments, complex phantoms who are fed upon by the vapour of mystery.

This is not language sculpted to brusquely intervene in what is considered as consciousness wrought from blind design, but language that actively transmutes the respiration of the cosmos. Occidental psychology has been trained to fixate on nouns. Thus, electricity wavers and is stunned by its own regression. The noun by its very nature yields at surcease a disembodied husk as proof of its once cognizant property. Therefore, the husk is seen as static yielding none of the richness of its power when it yielded to visibility. As corpse it seems unconnected to the musical ore that ignited its own engendering. As noun it is seen as remaining separate from perpetual energy from the field. Of course this energy maintains not only external embodiment but also an internal spreading that affects not only the motion of stellar warren’s and bodies, but individual beings quarantined on planets. As if the power of our Sun had been extracted from the field replete in itself via a separable energy.

A dark inevitable haunting?

Creation as plague of itself?

Perhaps a darkening that swallows its own darkening?

The above being the spell of creation itself. This darkening being its endemic component of entropy that seems to swarm and engulf its figments. Human realia per this realia seems not unlike the fate of migrating lemmings attempting to swim through slate. This being experience tempestuous experience always leaking into surcease. This being a leakage only provisionally questioned at individual levels, and only once,  within my reading recollection, remember having seen a few words that spoke of Egyptian national effort poised at transmuting the very nature of death. As for our present noun-centered culture an itinerary signals nothing other than the atmosphere of the abyss, filled with darkened rodents and tigers.

One must understand the flexity of the cellular field, of its depths, of its absorption and transmutation of entropy. This is not an activity that can be analogous to the invading of an adversarial shipping port, or slaying a beast in order to achieve sustenance. So beyond literal example cognitive pattern can only surmise a plane replete with terrifying grammar. And it is this grammar that seems to riddle the bodies that exist in condensed form. It is this grammar that seems to infest electricity itself. It seems entropy paradoxically abducts electricity via the cells always absorbing them via chronic degeneration.  Yet I am concerned here of how higher vibration is invoked so as to clear away their reverberation by  defeatism and panic. To dissolve ventriloquism in this regard. Perhaps such attempt is none other than a secretive yoga woven via mantric patience and susurration so that the fate of dying ceases to ensue.

This is not simply to extend corporeal living so as to extend largess of time, but to transmute the cells vis a vis a psycho-physical treading that snakes throughout the cosmos itself. This being not akin to some regrettable old Maiden having crossed into years of seeming oblivion propelled by persuasion and anger. First of all the cells transmute as an expanded notion of the cosmos as a higher masonry of echoes. This being none other than alchemical wind existing in the body as simultaneous integer.  It is through simultaneous integer that complexity arises. When the figmental ego is condemned to judge its fundamental ratio sans carbon as its principle component, one gains insight other than through mere wizardry, or effects of effects according to the abstraction of thinking. As if the physical specimen and its thoughts about itself shielded it from transpersonal cognizance, thereby gaining from itself a thanotonic attitude towards itself, the latter energy not the holding of extrasolar moons and suns in unquiet suspension. Because our nerves criss-cross like meteors we remain simultaneous with nervous elliptical distraction consumed by the after-effects of our own origin. At the literal level we remain a blinded apogee of instants, of fore-shortened skeletal remains. So by exploring unprecedented strata the Egyptians embodied the notion of “Coming Forth By Day” not only exploring one’s psyco-physical light but its occurrence that spills beyond the event horizon.

What if one morning we all awoke beyond our mercurial darkening so as to peer into surcease without losing our bodies to its everlasting grasp would transmute the universe. I am speaking here of tension between physical kinetic and its antithesis in terms of alchemical banishment so that it crosses over  into the unprecedented where enclosed experience could begin to realize itself beyond its own negation. This being vertiginous labour never at the level of political manoeuvre, or embrangled appearance. This is not unlike waiting for miracles to  appear. Yet this is not palpable reversal of water into wine or food for the multitudes spring from seeming dearth. I am thinking of oneiric embranglement all the while maintaining subverted cognition that irradiates absence itself. An alchemical state that allows mists to burn, to provide foray into menace, thereby entering an encyclopedia of the condemned. This being an arcane hyper-state open to absolute possibility. Not salvation haunted by tenuous figment, but opening onto the vibratory field, its cellular arc given over to clearing the feral circuitry of itself so that divine nutrients begin to saturate the cells providing incalculable vigour. This being none other than the uncanny magnified by non-measurable voltage. This being a realia impossible to post-navigate via the amperage of material scale.

Not that one enters this scenario by the mythological gaze of belief, but according to the latter’s power it attempts to hold us in hypnotic penetration, consumed by its tautological scabies that attempts to clarify the deeper states according to nullification. It is at this level that the body becomes a vampiric zephyr, its bodiless nerve ends consumed for living burial. The aforesaid condition can never invoke the sigil frayed as it is by matter as it is by matter as its dominant form of hypnosis. The sigil closes and opens that which is there, while belief dazzles being with distraction. Because the sigil burns at depths of the implicate it cannot be confined to emptied notions that once invested the European psychic apparatus, with its electro-acoustic analysis only capable of abstractly entering the poles of Saturn, or convening as abstract witness to extra-solar activity.

The mind, at this latter plane seems housed inside the bickering ozone of coffins chronically haunted as insular figment. All the while this formate has been empowered to self-illuminate its own paradox incapable of clearing old whispers from the cells. In contradistinction I am concerned with a yoga that weaves interior glistening in the deepest habitation of the cells.  Barriers to light begin to spontaneously de-exist, begin to annul themselves so that physical obstruction begins to flash and actively dissipate as would a glossary of dunes subjected to wind. I am concerned here not with optical embellishment but with interior fire. Not with purported religious zeal, but a plane that never withdraws to old mental habituation.  The cells in this latter state can never mature so that they mingle with our original state of origin. The latter state being the level we see confirmed in the panic of infants when they flash upon the realm from which they have recently emerged. Or put in another terminology eruption from a river of blood.  This being birth as we know it, with its beauty of sweltering leprosy, its mania suffused with unknown cartography. Yet, within this confusing yield we are most at one with death and its strange elliptical germination. Birth being a state where primal cartography erupts and spreads its inner waves spreading its saturated embers as a delta.  This being a state where the nascent aurn begins to gather and burn as primordial seismology, say, not unlike corporeal cartography active on ancient Mars. This being one analogy, another can be a physical state not altered by the literal mind static with gravid aural termination.

So am I in the process of engendering a ghost cult, or engendering a state of primal lethargy that curiously affects the living?

Perhaps there is truth in this. All I can surmise is that it must gall aparachicks of consciousness, emboldened as they are by precisely dotted lettering forms. Their primary skill being one of that excels in honing the isolate configuration empowered as they are by a glossary of blinded scholars incapable of peering into a vat of tremendums. What suffices for them remains measurement of segregated criteria examining shards of dimly lit candescence. Under this condition knowledge remains bereft of its ascensional property, having no way to inculcate its stores with transpersonal elevation, so what functions for knowledge in the main corrodes essential thought with unalterable deficiency. This being none other than operational misperception sculpted by gross psychological cadence conducted by a sulfurous attitude. Then the mind as garish cipher, suffused by the lethargic symbol darkened gargantuan waste. Thus, the living from death becomes rigid and non-pliable. The psyche then hypnotized its own portions so as to elide deeper realia by surrounding itself with combustible taxonomy. Imaginal analogy can be made to a toughened willow spewing pebbles. Via imaginal mode I can call this tree a Teutonic optical example.

In contradistinction to this latter example the mind exists as a bottomless electrical current capable of irrigating voids, as well as sub-dimensions of these voids. Thus, it understands, by analogy the imbibing by pythons of fully operant crocodilian monstrosities. This hellish scenario being none other than treasonous construction via absence by circuitous analogy, taking up in however delimited form, aspects of alchemical cellular transfunction via absence as its arcane vibration. This being a profoundly incalculable level the Egyptians once pursued as a national effort. To slip into the ellipsis of being in order to transmute forces so as to ascend into secrets that invigorate the beyond. The above made possible by psycho-physical trance that begins to allow the organism to thrive on less approachable planes. The psyco-physical in this regard not unlike a refracted diamond facing the Sun and they refract as proto-moons suddenly swallowed by darkness. They, being beyond all known summation of wattage. They, being beyond the human mind as its presently constructed. For the mind under the reign of delimited perception such refraction can only exist via theoretical transport, being at best, an addendum to being. It can only strategize itself as an abstract figment, self-identified as figment galvanized by the limit of psycho-physical argument.

With the psycho-physical  so radically galvanized it detains itself as respiration calumny, as being a literal confine of imploded ether. In order to gain consciousness one must still oneself in order to gaze down on the activity of oneself. The latter being initiation into seepage of protracted undulation. It is not unlike listening to a wave of blue nightingale, of aurally witnessing amarillo turn blue in one’s veins. It can said that this aural kingdom amounts to protracted aural silk, being something other than the armour of punishment. We can look to this level as leading to levels beyond puzzling anthrax doors. This being over and above the vehicular coding of the body. This is not to summon a skill or a common technical feat thereby enlisting a stifled grammar throughout what is commonly sensed to be  eternity. The activity of which I speak concerns protracted transmutation no longer conjoined to a galaxy of shadows. This is not a yoga that walks away from itself only to focus upon a former segment of itself. It is life as continuous phrasing, constantly in motion receiving glints from grammatical hamlets, always implied, always open to higher planes of susurration, as if one could aurally configure sapphire at moonrise.

This being none other than susurration that ranges beyond systems, beyond negligible sorcery by procedure. First off, one must transmute the mental state that fosters defeat, that fosters pointless cranial doubt. This imperceptibly ignites interior vertical motion, that in turn fosters old advantage as it seeps into the very kinetics of one’s being. One then begins to sense in the self un-scripted beauty not unlike the spectacular shape that remains the Eskimo Nebula, understanding thereby a grammar of new solar irrigation. One’s cells take on an aura of new solar complexity, not as a sum of hyphenated spirals but as psychic spirals that clarify that which post-exists, as if viewing oneself from a telepathic turning point, being something other than uncleansed re-configurement. That which is already known tends to de-exist as barrier, as if the Earth no longer existed via mechanical repetition knowing in one’s depths that life itself is in preparation for itself far beyond the anecdotal phase that is the Anthropocene. Thus, all name and number vanish, with the body allowed to roam post-geography via its remnants. These remnants could exist as a magnetic ulterior moon orbiting sans cognitive delimit as ratio, sans the quarrelsome knotting of signals, hatched from blue and emerging suns. This being something other than a Platonic cave derived from a former grammar.

To this degree I am speaking of our minds that exist via complex vehicular voltage. Squared at one level, flattened or circular at others. Yet at its deepest planes it analogous to a flare alive with invisible ebullience. This latter state is certainly not akin to totalitarian haunting symbolized by the strife of lizards bleeding for survival via aggravation. According to Gurdjieff we are surrounded by invisible forces that daily consume us, so every jot the psycho-physical instigates seems cannibalized by these very instigations made more simple by the majority of their thrusting onto the plane consumed by exoteric daylight. Our energy is thus consumed by a noxious animal kinetic. And so as we cannibalize smaller lesser creatures so a curious invisible force consumes us as we also consume. This is not an equation of consumption but one that exists as our overall habitation. At a certain level of insight this seems none other than collective degradation. This is the level where the cells collect defeatist code as a matter of course habituated by debris that whirls and settles into our optimum dune of bones so that they cease to replicate according to contacts that connect inside the implicate. Because implication does not function as cataract, it opens us to evolved self-habitation. Yet at present, our energy self-weaves with endemic entropy as we populate its carnivorous hearst that quietly stuns our livingness with its unnerving proximity.

Implication is certainly not a condition suffused with retro-analysis subsequently burdened by retrograde interpretation of the future. One must begin to understand the desperation between the particular and its connection to the general field. At its optimum vibration this is none other than a colloquy between the cells and the field that they occupy, sans proximal interaction of how they interact with one another. Say, if vibration from the cells evinces spontaneous clarity sans mechanical  complicity, but through what I’ll call spontaneous comprehension a positive infection transpires that transmutes the field itself. This begins to enact a realia that the entire species can begin to summon. A leap, if you will, not say, in terms of perhaps, Martian terminology and its critique of capital, but of levels intrinsic to the respiration of the galaxy itself. This in turn evokes a higher range of capability where forces are no longer constrained by Euro-centric psychic origin. We have presently broached Dirac’s “signal of signals” listening far beyond Anthropomorphic conclusion. Kindling transpires in this range as unknown seismography. A seismography that brews according to the propensity of the unknown. This is how the cosmos itself transmutes cellular rotation so that old funeric plasmas cease burning with restriction, with bereft infernos of grammar, that keeps the species occulted from itself, so that false and telling estrangement ceases exercise of interrogative polarization.

It is precisely in this state that the self-endowed  cannibal emerges from animal obscuration ceasing its pointless reptilian fervor, so much so, that the barrier between life and death circuitously abandons itself, with a simultaneous amperage traversing forces we suspect at present, of having no possibility of existing. As billions upon billions presently live their lives reeking of imprecise meta-judgement that seems to more and more fail to exist. I am speaking here of fallen mythologies, of material rafts that cease to ferry the dead. The shape of energy we now carry remains a debilitated, a form of diamonds sullied and re-brewed according to a clouded form of wish, the latter being none other than embedded error. This being the challenge to what the cells instinctively experience. Not replica, but instinctive self-agency, being evolutionary wavelength streaking across a bottomless anonymous firmament. Not glare from circumspect hypnosis, nor dazed occlusion, nor exclusive excuse for evolving human scale far beyond the fractional mode of quotidian execution.

At the expense of minutiae one must fling one’s energies into the the ravine of oneself according to living realia that rises above the present fate of our material masters. By so doing our acidic self-compounding will tend to vanish and reveal itself via a charged utopian compost, not unlike a dazzling oracular oxygen that articulates interior fulmination, as a cleansed non-monomial activity that perpetually persists blazing as miraculous kinetic.


Image Credit: CSIRO [CC BY 3.0 ], via Wikimedia Commons

A Cannibal Explains Himself To Himself was last modified: August 21st, 2018 by Will Alexander
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Will Alexander

Will Alexander is a poet, aphorist, playwright, essayist, philosopher, visual artist, pianist, and native of Los Angeles. The author of nearly thirty books, his awards and honors include a Whiting Fellowship for Poetry in 2001, a California Arts Council Fellowship in 2002, the PEN/Oakland Josephine Miles Award in 2007, and an American Book Award in 2013 for Singing In Magnetic Hoofbeat: Essays, Prose, Texts, Interviews, and a Lecture. In 2016 he was awarded the prestigious Jackson Prize for poetry, which is among the most substantial given to an American poet.

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