Have you been searching for the perfect glass of vino to pair with each pending Senate confirmation? Well look no further. We’ve created the most comprehensive, qualified list of anything you’ll find anywhere on the Internet. While a dry white would pair well with almost any of these folks, you can’t go wrong with something that’s had plenty of time to age but is still fairly inexperienced.
Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State —The president and chief executive of Exxon Mobil has pretty close ties with Russian President Vladimir Putin, which means he deserves something rich and red. We recommend a chalice of full-bodied cabernet sauvignon.
Thomas P. Bossert, Homeland Security Adviser —Tom here was once a top national security aide to President George W. Bush, so we’d say go for any wine you’ve had before and forgot you hated until you tried it again at your boss’ house and had to drink it for the entire night and then had a horrible hangover that lasted eight years.
Rick Perry, Energy Secretary—In 2011, while he was seeking the Republican nomination for president, Governor Perry proposed eliminating the very department he now may be in charge of. We considered many different varietals for Governor Perry, but decided that the best wine pairing for eating your words is something easy to drink like an Argentinian Malbec.
Andrew F. Puzder, Labor Secretary—Puzder is the chief executive of CKE Restaurants, which includes Carl’s Jr. What would we pair with the flawless bacon, egg & cheese biscuit breakfast sandwich? A full bottle of Boone’s Farm Country Kwencher.
Steven Mnuchin, Treasury Secretary—Mnuchin was President-Elect Trump’s campaign finance chairman and is a former Goldman Sachs executive and Hollywood financier with no government experience. For this moneyman we’d love to sip on a glass of 1990 Domaine de la Romanee-Conti. Coming in around $20,975 a bottle, we’re certain our blockbuster secretary would find the world’s finest pinot noir a worthwhile investment.
Linda McMahon, Small Business Administration—Chardonnay was the most popular grape through the 1990s so we find it an appropriate pairing for this former chief executive of the WWE.